It’s a subject which is still taboo and sometimes a source of ridicule – fat people having sex.
Think Fat B**stard in Austin Powers or the Fat Slags in the comic Viz.
But for thousands of people being fat and wanting to have great sex is no laughing matter.
Emma Tamsin Hill is one of those people and she has made a film which looks at the concerns of Britain’s increasingly super-size population.
She said: “I’ve been fat my entire life. It’s been the only life I have known.
“When I was in High School I was always the funny best mate.
“It was only when I went to University I started to get boys being interested.”
Now 22, she says the three years while she studied were a steep learning curve of how men behaved towards her.
“Looking back I think men preyed on me because of my size. It was all consensual and I wasn’t promiscuous but I had a few experiences with boys who left me feeling used.
“One man I was with talked down to me and I guess I just accepted it.
“I think I was trying to get validation from men and was locked in a vicious circle.”
Now Emma who has a large social media following say her eyes have been opened and she is much more confident.
She regularly posts pictures of herself in glamorous and sexy outfits and has had lots of fans.
She said: “These days I am much more aware of my sexuality and am quite a sexual person.
“Sex is 100 times better.”
She said: “Fat people like me have no problem actually doing the deed of sex but often have problems getting naked in front of people.”
She blames social media and apps like Snap Chat and Tinder for making it possible to have contact 24 hours a day and devaluing face to face social interactions.
One of the methods she uses in the show to help banish fears is to become a life model in a drawing class.
She said: “It was very nerve-racking but when I saw the pictures I realised that the way people see me is not the way I thought, to them I was a work of art.”
In the show Emma attends a workshop in East London with similar-sized women run by Athena Mae – a self-styled sexpert who helps men and women with body image and confidence to improve their sex as well as more practical advice.
Her Athena Mae Body Positive sessions run once a month in London and are £35-50 for 90 minutes depending on subject matter and experience with maximum 10 people.
Single and couple sessions are £250-500 per session depending on subject matter for up to four hours.
She showed Emma how a simple wedge pillow positioned in the right way allows fat women to have more comfortable sex.
“It’s useful for really really good sex. It helps to tip your body above it’s center of gravity and gives you a stable base during sex.
“It supports your joints when you are having sex and makes things more comfortable. It really helped one of my more slender partners get deep penetration.”
Her mantras for better sex include.
1) Love your body
2) Weight doesn’t equal your worth
3) I’m fat not overweight – “fat” doesn’t carry the connotations of dirty and ugly
4) Accept how your body is and don’t try to change it
5) Confidence and positivity are different things
