Experts Warn That Mutant Fleas With Huge Willies Could Invade Homes
A swarm of fleas with huge penises is coming to the UK – of course it is.
According to specialists in the field, the bizarre mutation is the result of a warm winter, followed by a mild and rainy summer, which have combined to create the perfect climate for the insects to thrive.
But rather than your bog-standard flea, these little bleeders are much bigger than average, and their cocks are two-and-a-half times larger than their bodies.
Wowzers.
And with mating season just around the corner, the males are out and about looking for a partner to copulate with.
Female fleas notoriously breed at an incredible rate – laying around 50 eggs a day – which could be bad news for homeowners, with experts warning of a possible infestation this summer.
Speaking to The Sun, a spokesman for pest controllers Basis Prompt said: “The activity and behaviour of fleas is often very much dependent on the climate.
“As they thrive in a warm and humid environment, they’re likely to be present in greater numbers than usual during the next few weeks.
“The population of fleas seems to have grown rapidly in recent years, but the risk of an infestation could be bigger than ever this summer.”
Apparently billions are expected to descend on the UK in the coming months.
They normally make it into homes by latching onto the fur of dogs and cats, before burrowing into furniture, carpets and rugs, before getting down to the business of making babies.
The spokesperson for Basis Prompt added: “Fleas found on pets are usually only a small part of a bigger issue, as the vast majority of an infestation is probably living in the house.
“Anyone treating their pet must be sure to treat their home thoroughly at the same time or the problem is highly likely to return.”
A telltale sign that your dog is harbouring the little blighters is constant scratching and bite marks, which come up as red dots.
It’s vital that owners take their pets to the vet as soon as possible and have them washed with special shampoo, while the bites need to be washed and rubbed with antiseptic cream.
They then need to make sure all of their carpets, sofas and bedding are washed thoroughly, to make sure they’re free from the frisky fleas.
Good luck.
