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Danes to build Brexit ‘herring wall’, and other April Fools

Danes to build Brexit 'herring wall', and other April Fools

From a Brexit weed-smoking ban to express deliveries by falcon, here is a roundup of Monday’s April Fool pranks in world media:

– Right to fair herring –

In a nod to Donald Trump’s Mexico border wall plans, Denmark said it would build a fence in the North Sea to protect its herrings after Brexit — and make Britain pay for it.

“The new fence will prevent young herring from migrating out of Danish territory. No Dane should miss out on herring that should rightfully be considered ours,” fisheries minister Eva Kjer Hansen said in a statement.

“The Brits created this problem, and I am going to make them pay for the fence.”

– Blow to British stoners –

In another Brexit blow, a spoof Dutch report said British tourists would be banned from buying cannabis at Amsterdam coffee shops once Britain leaves the European Union.

The expat website quoted a “spokesman” named Wiett Pot as saying cafes may go bust because of the new rules.

“This will have a blowback throughout the weed industry,” he said.

– Ban chocolate rabbits? –

Swiss daily Le Matin reported that vegans wanted to ban chocolate bunnies at Easter.

The newspaper said on its website that a petition launched last week by an anonymous “collective” had so far garnered 80 signatures.

“At Easter, shelves buckle under the weight of chocolate rabbits, eggs, chicken and chicks,” the petition supposedly read.

“This impresses the appalling idea on children that it’s normal and even desirable to exploit and eat animals.”

– Fashion falcons –

Dubai-based online fashion retailer Namshi said it would soon offer an express delivery service using falcons.

The company said it had been working with “the best falconers” to train a 50-strong crew of the birds of prey.

“Travelling at a speed of 390km per hour, the birds are guaranteed to get your parcels within three hours of ordering,” Namshi said in a statement posted on its website.

The firm later revealed it was an April Fool’s joke.

– Bigger stadium for Bale –

Conservative German newspaper the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung joked that its hometown club Eintracht Frankfurt would build an extra storey onto its stadium to boost revenue and attract big-name players.

It cited an imaginary tweet from Real Madrid star Gareth Bale, claiming he said that for fewer than 80,000 spectators “it wouldn’t be worth tying up his relatively complicated man-bun”.

– Smartphone slow lane –

Vienna’s public transport company came up with an original way to get smartphone users to pay more attention.

Wiener Linien tweeted a mocked-up image of a corridor in one of its underground stations split into “smartphone” and “non-smartphone” lanes.

“Use them if you really can’t tear your eyes away from your mobile phone while changing trains,” it said — but then gave the game away with a winking emoji.

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